There was a couple of days last week when I was feeling it. Doubt came for a visit.
I danced with Doubt for a while before I realized that the rhythm was all off between the two of us and I needed to look for another partner. Play showed up at that point and I haven’t looked back.
A couple of my friends shared with me that Doubt is often a sign that it’s time to go in another direction. Oh, that makes sense, I thought. I felt lifted and was able to pull myself out of the hole I was in.
I realized that my direction is not linear but has many different spirals and loops. I don’t have to run to the end of the road. I can release my expectations and ride along just enjoying the view for a while before planting my feet again firmly on the ground. There is no need for re-solution as I travel.
I am attempting to write in draft form without editing as I go along. It is harder than I thought to let go and just get it out. It is also a challenge to not look at other resources or do re-search as I write.
Attempting. Good practice.
Since giving Doubt the boot!
- I am focusing on the ways I attend to and care for each moment. Each time I give my all to any one life event or relationship it feels so much more satisfying than when I am trying to do it all, flitting from this to that.
- I am noticing when my neck stiffens, my breath is shallow. When I hold my breath and am not opening up to what is…
- I am giving myself permission to play, explore, be curious, go on a grand adventure, take myself out on a play date. There is no perfect way to do anything. All I can do is give it a go and make the best of it. Practicing and deepening my resolve to fully savor each moment, task, conversation, mundane or meaningful pursuit seems to be what is up for me. On my way to any new directions.
I may be leaving behind something I have held close for a long time. It is going to take some amount of care and wisdom to pull this off.
I am really not sure. But then, who is?
I can give myself all the permission in the world to play, fiddle, rip into, take a huge bit of life, go for it! No one can take that away from me. It’s mine.
Commitment is not a one time only deal. I am re-committing again and again to noticing what no longer serves and, then, making my way to where my heart leads me.