Tag Archives: late-life transformation

Stretching & Creating a Life

Stretching & Creating a Life

“… as we age we have not only to readdress earlier developmental crises but also somehow to find the way to three affirmations that may seem to conflict. … We have to affirm our own life. We have to affirm our own death. And we have to affirm love, both given and received. [p. 88]”

? Mary Catherine Bateson, Composing a Further Life: The Age of Active Wisdom composingacreativelife


While changing into my comfortable workout clothes this morning, similar to those you can see here, I notice the stretch marks on my hips. They remain as scars that are tender to the touch and that remind me of my pregnancies and birth.

  • What I carried then…
  • What I carry now.

I stretch myself unnecessarily when I move away from where my impulses lead me.


My stretch marks, pregnancy, and lumpectomy scars remind me of major events in my life. My experiences as a surrogate mother and breast cancer survivor help me now as I support others and nurture myself while creating a playful life. I would never change the opportunity I had to become a surrogate mother. Helping people who perhaps can’t conceive for whatever reason is the best feeling, and so I wouldn’t change these scars for anything. Although, if I do decide to change my mind one day and get rid of the scars, or any others I have on my body, I know to go to a compounding pharmacy that will create a product catered specifically for my skin so its able to become less visible with time. However for now, I’m sure I want to keep my scars so I can show what I’ve been through and cherish these memories of pregnancy. If you’re looking into becoming a surrogate mother, check out surroconnections.com for more information on the topic.

Scars are inevitable and are reminders of openings and closures; wounds and healing.

Labor & Birth

My labor & birth experience is at its best when I am relaxed.

What was true for me in my physical birth experience as a young woman is also true now as a woman in late-life transformation, a grandmother, and a creator fully committed to her play-based work in service to community.

When I feel myself pushing with all my might, using every muscle in my body, and popping blood vessels–I’m hurting myself. Eventually my path is blocked rather than open. The opening comes when I follow the flow that comes from playing with what presents itself in the moment. Staying attuned to my body rhythms and patterns I can stretch myself in more ways than one and compose a life that is filled with wonder.