Tag Archives: vulnerability

Deep in the Muck: To Be Courageous + En-Courage-ing

[ctt template=”5″ link=”CX20s” via=”no” nofollow=”yes”]On my Knees and in the Muck[/ctt]

Courage today feels like a crawl in the muck on my  hands and knees

like so many women who give birth while allowing gravity to do all the work.

 

birth can take place too fast and a woman feels ripped apart. or she can slow down and breathe.

This woman trusts her gut and doesn’t know whether others will like her and what she creates…

it’s not any of her business what they like…

This woman eliminates quickly what is not needed so that there is room for what is meant to come into the world.

Birth is messy. There is that business of elimination, tears, sweat, fluids running down the legs, first milk dripping from breasts. There is moaning, cursing, yelling, and primal vocal sounds that call out the names of our many ancestors who have gone before us.

At 64, I am playing in the muck of who I am becoming…

I am continuing to birth. This time I am birthing a courageous woman. an encouraging woman.

  • Do I have enough courage to share what I find meaningful so others may benefit from the de-light of my understanding?
  • Can I stay open and not act out of fear so that the story continues to unfold or will I shut down and end the story prematurely?
  • Am I courageous enough to forgive myself?

I am in the muck. I feel like I am being carried by a mudslide to its end where I will be buried alive. No, I find my way to flow and I am able to ride it out.

The sun comes out from behind the dark clouds and I breathe…

I don’t have the answers. First listen. Slow down. Ask for help. There are helpers out there. You don’t have to do this alone. Being courageous doesn’t mean moving fast or taking action without the information you need. Wait. Be patient. Cry as the tears come.

 

 

 

 

 

Ingesting Joy

I skipped lunch today in favor of painting. Yum!

I am playing, creating, ingesting, and sharing what I am learning.

So many people who I work with are searching and questioning the purpose of life:

How to be more compassionate and make a difference.

I feel very fortunate that I understand my role in making a difference in the lives of others. My purpose is to help myself and others re-search and learn ‘the art of playing in the everyday’.  To help others create playful pathways where each of us stand up and act compassionately (with an open heart) from the grounding of a life-well lived.

As any of you who are readers of my blogs know–I value dreaming, sharing, and taking action for the greater good. Even so, it is only recently that I began to send more than the occasional email to subscribers of our Play Notes e-list. I didn’t want to overburden anyone’s email box or be accused of being TOO MUCH, TOO BIG, TO VOCAL.

When I was a girl growing up, in a large, Catholic family; I knew that I was to stay small, not speak, not be different. The nuns at the parochial school I attended showed very little tolerance for lack of conformity or drawing outside the lines. Even in my doctoral program I was told by one of the women I studied with, I could wipe the floor with you. About that same time, around my 40th birthday, things began to change. I began to play again outside of walls that I created for myself–walls that were built from my choices.

TODAY I understand how important it is to inform others who will be impacted by my actions about what I am doing. Be in my authority. Communicate and not be concerned that it’s TOO MUCH.


Each day holds a surprise. But only if we expect it can we see, hear, or feel it when it comes to us. Let’s not be afraid to receive each day’s surprise, whether it comes to us as sorrow or as joy It will open a new place in our hearts, a place where we can welcome new friends and celebrate more fully our shared humanity. ~Henri Nouwen

I Play and Find Joy in:

  • Writing
  • Walking in my neighborhood
  • Snowshoe during the winter season
  • Hiking
  • Talking with a friend
  • Posting a Photo and Sharing a Story on Social Media
  • Listening to someone who is sharing a painful experience
  • Watching a Sunrise or Sunset with Soft Focus
  • Playing with my grandchildren

What brings you JOY?

[Fill in the Blank]

There are so many moments of JOY! and OPPORTUNITIES TO STAND UP AND RAISE YOUR VOICE!


I have been sharing ‘Play Quotes‘ for a while now. I’m excited to see how many people are sharing these bits of inspiration with others. Some of the quotes are my own and then there is a portion of quotes that are ‘riffs’ by me on the words of those who inspire me. I am drawn to a variety of voices some known and increasingly new voices of poets, songwriters, novelists, play advocates, creativity experts, dreamers, scientists, innovators, activists, and more. My goal in sharing these ‘play quotes’ is to inspire you! To help you move ahead on your playful, individuation journey.

I am also sending blog posts to subscribers of ‘Play Notes‘ from both the Play=Peace blog and the Create a Life that Comes from the Heart blog. I am finding that my writing is deepening as I commit to the process of writing and of sharing courageously with my readers.

I am eager to connect with many more of you this year in meaningful ways. There are a number of avenues to connect and learn more about ‘the art of playing in the everyday’.

  1. Individual Play-based, Depth-oriented Mentoring
  2. Memoir Project writings, Performances, and Workshops
  3. Speaking Engagements and Freelance Writing
  4. Playful Journey Virtual Retreats
  5. Play=Peace Shop
  6. Play=Peace on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and others…

 

Tell the Story of Who You Are With Your Whole Heart

Important Question: What is keeping me from completing my memoir?

Psyche’s Answer: You must give birth to and release what you have been carefully nurturing for soooo long!

Courage: to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart

In 1987 I released my newborn into the waiting arms of his adoptive mom.

30 years later, I am struggling to release the story of who I am and what I am becoming…

After my mom died in 2008 I dreamed:

In the middle of the front yard of our home there are large stones that spell out a word:

The word is COURAGE


I became the Goddess without the feminine ground that would return me to humanity. 
I am beginning to understand the power of archetype. I am conscious and making choices YES!
This morning I wrote down a new writing schedule in my journal. These hours will be devoted to writing and preparation for birth.
I begin to page through the edited version of my manuscript and I see the words
bird
raven 
butterfly
and am able to fly, and dive deep, anew…and where I never imagined possible, until now. ~synchronicity in the moment of writing/excerpt from a friend’s email

I am doing what needs to be done to complete my memoir, perform my life, discover more…
My surrogate son’s 30th birthday is Saturday. This is the first birthday I am able to wish him a
Happy Birthday!
 I am celebrating my son’s life, our story.
What I said yes to…
I will never say yes to again…
AND…
I am the woman, I am today because of my experience as a surrogate mother
AND
because I play
because I create
because I write… I am READY to complete a lengthy work filled with story, images, dreams, and letters.
I am READY to deepen my work and accept the challenge of completing my work. It is difficult to write about completion and release…there’s a lot for me to learn. This is another step in making sense of what holds me back. Not wanting to let go has brought me to tears, sobbing, many times. I can do this!
IMAGINE what will birth next?!
I’m going to keep writing and watch to see what synchronicities emerge. Undoubtedly many of these connections will bring difficulties and challenges + de-light!
Want to find out more about our Memoir Project? Great! 
 

Share Your Story with your Whole Heart

Turning the page and finding so much more…

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Openness

Generosity

Bravery

Playful, Action Steps

vulnerability is not weakness

= courage

vulnerability-coeur-heart

the willingness to do something when there are no guarantees

vulnerability is the way to live

Judging by the amount of time it is taking me to write this post I am both desiring and struggling to be vulnerable on the page.

I want to share what I’ve collected or what has captured me with my whole heart but am I willing to share my vulnerabilities when there are no guarantees?

Can I continue to write, perform, share, teach, offer help, give, reach out, do the best I can without guarantees?

So many times I am unsure if anyone is really wanting to connect. To create real connection.

People close to me tell me that I’m taking too much of a risk. Be yourself, ha!

This week I found myself sharing in-person and here about how I found my way back to play, re-claiming play in my life, after years of achieving degrees, analytical hours, and striving to achieve. Yes, those  years are valuable and helped me become who I am today…

AND

when I was called back to PLAY and understood that life’s playfulness and creativity, wild imagination and dreams were there for me so that I could learn and develop…become….individuate…

THAT’S WHEN IT ALL HAPPENED

Pushing, Cautiousness, Criticism, Comparison weren’t getting me anywhere I wanted to go…

What does Vulnerability mean to you? Share in the Comments or Email Me to schedule an individual, customized play-based retreat:

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