[ctt template=”5″ link=”CX20s” via=”no” nofollow=”yes”]On my Knees and in the Muck[/ctt]
Courage today feels like a crawl in the muck on my hands and knees
like so many women who give birth while allowing gravity to do all the work.
birth can take place too fast and a woman feels ripped apart. or she can slow down and breathe.
This woman trusts her gut and doesn’t know whether others will like her and what she creates…
it’s not any of her business what they like…
This woman eliminates quickly what is not needed so that there is room for what is meant to come into the world.
Birth is messy. There is that business of elimination, tears, sweat, fluids running down the legs, first milk dripping from breasts. There is moaning, cursing, yelling, and primal vocal sounds that call out the names of our many ancestors who have gone before us.
At 64, I am playing in the muck of who I am becoming…
I am continuing to birth. This time I am birthing a courageous woman. an encouraging woman.
- Do I have enough courage to share what I find meaningful so others may benefit from the de-light of my understanding?
- Can I stay open and not act out of fear so that the story continues to unfold or will I shut down and end the story prematurely?
- Am I courageous enough to forgive myself?
I am in the muck. I feel like I am being carried by a mudslide to its end where I will be buried alive. No, I find my way to flow and I am able to ride it out.
The sun comes out from behind the dark clouds and I breathe…
I don’t have the answers. First listen. Slow down. Ask for help. There are helpers out there. You don’t have to do this alone. Being courageous doesn’t mean moving fast or taking action without the information you need. Wait. Be patient. Cry as the tears come.